Let’s face it, we’ve all been stuck with a bad boss at some point.
Sometimes this happens because our boss is incompetent.
Or maybe they’re a personality type that just rubs us the wrong way.
Or they micro-manage until it threatens our sanity. Or they turn out to be a stumbling block for our career development.
The reasons are endless…
But whether you like it or not, part of the game in business is dealing with people we’d rather not.
It doesn’t matter if you’re an entry level employee, a mid-level manager, or a top ranking executive… even if you own and run a business… there will always be people you are accountable to, but who you would rather not be around.
Sometimes these will be customers who are always wrong. Other times they will be clients who are painful to deal with. And even other times, they will be incompetent micromanaging d*ckheads that you report to.
We could bitch about it all day long. In fact, some people bitch about it all life long!
But, as you’ve already figured out, that wouldn’t change anything. Besides, that’s not our way at Career Insiders…
Rather than complaining about rough situations, or numbing ourselves with coping strategies; we learn to turn the situation on it’s head and use it to our advantage.
In that spirit, let me share a few techniques which will turn that painful boss, who makes your life miserable with their worst intentions, into an asset that serves you.
What We Really Think About Bosses
Before we go any further, let’s go over a few interesting facts about boss-subordinate relationships.
This is important, for it will give insight into not just how we feel, but how the working world at large feels…
For starters, the norm between a boss/manager and an employee is a bad relationship.
Remember: most employees dislike their bosses. And quite a few, despise them.
And a lot of this has to do with the perceived incompetence of the boss.
Simply put, most of us don’t feel like our bosses aren’t up to snuff. We don’t believe that they know what they are doing.
In fact, according to the global research firm Gallup, only 18% of managers in the U.S. were recognized for having “high talent”, leadership ability, as well as the skills to build relationships with, motivate and encourage their workers.
That means, 82% of bosses didn’t know what they were doing!
The same study also reported that 51% of managers were not engaged with their work, and another 14% were actively disengaged from their work. Meaning: they hate what they do, hate their co-workers, hate their subordinates, and they actively undermine the corporations they work for!
Considering this fact, and also the fact that, according to Forbes magazine, almost 90% of the workers see their work a source of frustration rather than satisfaction, it’s no surprise that people dislike their bosses.
After all, half of the bosses in the workforce are doing half-assed jobs, at best.
But, ironically, incompetence or apathy don’t turn out to be the main cause of our discontent…
According to Harvard Business Review, bosses are blamed for all sorts of reasons including not recognizing employee achievements, not giving clear directions, not having time for their employees, not knowing employee’s names, not asking about employees’ lives outside of work, and even, refusing to talk with subordinates.
And while all of these are frustrating, they pale in comparison to the biggest reason why employees hate their bosses:
Taking credit for your work.
You Are Justified For How You Feel
Considering all these facts, if you have a problem with your boss, chances are, you are justified.
After all, most bosses aren’t performing at the level they should.
Many are not even trying…
Our data shows that the vast majority of bosses are not engaging with their workers at crucial moments, which would help them build trusting relationships.
And, according to the CEO of Gallup, instead of doing their work by the book, rewarding and motivating employees as they should, and making decisions around productivity – many bosses are simply playing office politics and manipulation games to get their way.
Obviously, all this conniving is costing companies.
And I’m talking only about money, but I’m also talking about people: According to a fairly recent study by Bamboo HR, about 44% employees reported that they left their work because of a bad boss!
Considering the fact that the second most expensive activity in a business is acquiring talent (first being acquiring customers), bad bosses are ruining the businesses they happen to work for.
And, subsequently, they are ruining the careers of their employees.
Think about it: how well can you perform if you despise your boss?
How well can the company perform?
How far would you be willing to push yourself, knowing that a good chunk of the recognition will go to your boss? Especially when they do nothing but stand in your way?
And, how much of their toxic attitude can you tolerate, rather than looking for greener pastures elsewhere?
Well… Hold on to your answers.
After learning what I’m about to teach you, you opinions may be drastically different…
Gaining Power Over Your Boss
Think back in the medieval days.
Or even the days right before the industrial age.
During these earlier times, “who you were” mattered a lot.
If you were blue blooded, connected with a royal family, or part of an influential house; your status could not be easily challenged.
And your lot in life was already set at your birth.
If you had rank, as far as most day to day interactions go, you could demand whatever you wanted… and generally speaking, your serfs and servants obeyed you.
In other words, in the earlier world, status and authority were granted rather than earned.
And unless people took up arms and risked everything to get rid of you, they tolerated and lived with your idiosyncrasies, bowing down to your spot on the pecking order.
Today is different.
And the while failing to courtesy the right sovereign no longer lands you in jail, parallel authority structures still exist.
After all the hard wired human tendencies that create such hierarchies have not been evolved away.
As a result, we still have hierarchies…
At the extreme end, we experience hierarchies through Kings and Queens, as well as Supreme Leaders of Tyrannical Regimes, whose powers and authority do not get challenged, and whose wild opinions and crazy idiosyncrasies get tolerated.
And the less extreme end, we still interact with our bosses or “superiors” in a subservient manner from a position of lower status.
You see…
The key to resolving your troubles with your boss – or any boss – has to do with understanding this concept of status.
This is because, the problems you experience, has to do with status.
And from this perspective, it doesn’t matter if your boss is incompetent, malicious or annoying.
It doesn’t even matter if they are in the wrong or if you are in the wrong…
All that matters is status…
The Crazy Thing About Status
Status means:
“The relative social, professional, or other standing of someone or something. Rank. Social position.”
As humans we all crave status. It is, in fact, a deep human need like sex or survival.
That’s why, we all try to get into situations which lead to our ascension up the social ladder.
We may not all be active social climbers, but we do come with a hard wiring to climb up.
And we do this by competing for the limited spots up the dominance hierarchy in any group.
This competitive urge, in some sense, is good for us. After all, higher status yields not only a better life experience, but it also increases number of desirable mating opportunities, while giving us access to greater resources.
But our status craving, especially when it’s not satisfied, manifests in our minds through various emotions and belief structures that do not serve us.
And by that, I mean, these emotions no longer serve us in the modern corporate/business world.
The way we feel about status was very useful when we were hunter-gatherers…
Envy could get us to perform better. Anger could help us topple opposition. The desire to gossip and badmouth, could ruin someone’s reputation and give us a shot at their seat.
In today’s world, however, these emotions are simply stumbling blocks to our career success.
And here’s the thing…
They are also suppressed to the point of us becoming ticking time bombs!
How We Feel About Status
It’s completely NATURAL for us to feel the way we feel about status.
We want more of it. We feel bad about not having enough of it. And we don’t like others having it.
In fact, nothing expresses the fact that we don’t like others having it like the word “schadenfreude“.
Schadenfreude is a German word that roughly translates to “damage/harm joy”. It means the elation and joy we feel when someone in power – especially when someone in power over us – experiences suffering.
Think about your boss getting canned for watching an X rated material at work, and you’ll have a taste of what schadenfreude is…
And what’s so special about it?
Well, it reveals our true nature.
It shows us what we really feel about people up hierarchies.
And if we are honest about ourselves, it lets us see that, deep down in our core, we’d rather be in the one in the position of power.
This admission is important, and empowering…
You see… Our impulse to power is very deep. And it can flare up all sorts of reactive emotions any instant.
In fact, it may even get triggered when our boss tells us to do something, even though we’ve consented to doing it, and we are getting paid to do it!
After all, as far as our emotions are concerned, we resent being a subordinate. And we hate being bossed around…
Seeing this fact allows us to work with it.
Yes, these negative feelings are unpleasant, but they are also useful. They fuel our desire to ascend up hierarchies. And they give us ambition.
But they need to be channeled in the right direction and used in the right context.
When left alone, or even worse, when denied under a veneer of civilized obedience like the way most people do, these bottled up emotions completely color the way we perceive and interact with our bosses.
And they put a negative spin on the whole interaction…
Go Beyond Dis-Empowering Emotions
When we accept the fact that we are hard wired to dislike our bosses, things start to change.
First of all, we stop lying to ourselves and repeating phrases like “I actually like my boss.”
We don’t. Get over it!
Second, we start losing sentimentality.
And instead of experiencing emotions triggered by our boss, we come into a more grounded perspective.
Third, and most importantly, we become able to act.
Instead of being reactive to our circumstances and the idiosyncrasies of our boss, we can pick a sober, deliberate and empowering course of action that gives us what we want in EVERY interaction with our boss.
The 5-Step Process for Power Over Your Boss
Once you’ve stopped reacting to your boss, you can start acting.
Here are five actions you can take to create advantage for yourself when you are stuck with a bad boss.
Step 1. See Your Bad Boss As An Opportunity
This is a very obvious, and very overlooked fact:
A bad boss is a fantastic opportunity!
Once you can get over your emotions that is…
As I’ve explained above, bad bosses cost companies money and people. They are not optimal for the position they occupy.
That’s why, once the ineptitude of a bad boss becomes obvious to a higher rank leadership, and once a better alternative becomes available, such bad bosses always get swapped out.
And that swap can even end up with you taking their position! (Incidentally, I moved up using this strategy twice…)
Remember, if you had a great boss, they may outshine you. And you’ll have to wait for them to move up or leave.
With a bad boss, you just have to give them enough rope to hang themselves.
Step 2. Treat Your Boss Like a Client
One of our motto’s at Career Insiders is: “everyone is a client”.
This is because, we believe that you should treat everyone you work with as a client.
By doing so, you’ll stop personalizing interactions, and instead, focus on creating value.
And once you start creating value for people, you’ll be able to cash in on that value, by creating agreements.
You see… Most people treat their co-workers as friends.
And they also treat their managers like teachers, or worse, parents.
This attitude is highly toxic and it exasperates tense emotions.
It also brings up way too much baggage.
But if you should start to look at your bad boss as if they were a client, you’ll have an easier time getting over yourself.
You won’t see your boss as someone with higher status then you.
You’ll simply see them as just another person, who you are charging in exchange for value.
It’s all business.
Step 3. Keep Your Enemies Closer
You know what they say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
Now, I’m not saying that your boss is your enemy.
I’m not even saying that a terrible boss is your enemy.
But…
If they were to turn on you, wouldn’t you rather be prepared?
Would you rather have some leverage in the interaction and some advantage to sway things your way?
One of the best ways to develop this leverage is through a good and friendly relationship with your boss.
Keep in mind, you don’t have to be a boot licker sycophant.
But you should be seen as a reliable, flexible and resourceful subordinate they can call on.
Your boss should feel confident about your abilities, and feel trust towards you.
In fact, ideally, your boss should be happy to delegate to you.
For instance, if he’s not coming to the office, he should be comfortable calling you up to run a meeting for him.
Or if he’s swamped with too much other work, he should be more than happy to let you turn in a report for him.
This way, you can get exposure to his work. And you can develop the skills that can be used to replace him.
Don’t rush… Don’t try to take credit for everything you get your hands on.
But, do increase your experience.
As long as you don’t demonstrate a hunger for hasty promotions, and as long as you make them think that you are a people pleaser; they will be eager to give you more to do.
Step 4. Fill Inter-Departmental Gaps
Chances are, a bad boss isn’t just going to be bad managing their department.
They will also be bad about managing stakeholders, partners, clients, executives and other departments.
For instance, they may ignore customer service.
Which means… there is opportunity for you to provide that service!
Or they may run your department as a silo, without talking with other departments as frequently as they should.
If that’s the case, you can start facilitating those conversations by talking to other teams. Yes, you’d start informally, but once there is enough momentum, you will be seen as the spokesperson for your department.
Or they may even lack in promptness or completeness when updating executives.
And in that case, you can step up to it. You could even build your boss’ presentations for him!
And yes, you can give him all the credit for any work you do for him. There are many ways to take credit for work other than putting your name on it…
The key here is that, you are filling in the gaps.
It doesn’t matter who sees it at first.
What matters is that these are growth opportunities.
And they always lead to fantastic options.
Step 5. Collect Dirt On Your Bad Boss
If you have a particularly bad boss, build a file on him!
Take notes on their specific bad behavior.
Keep track of their hours.
Keep copies of disorderly messages.
Record poorly run team meetings. (You can do this under the guise of taking notes and action items).
Keep a record of every complain your team experiences, which can be seen as due to your boss.
Simply put: do everything you would do if you knew you were going to sue them…
While this is not only incredibly satisfying, before you know it, it will also be incredibly empowering.
You see… Every employee, even the CEO, is subject to HR policies, at least in principle.
Sure, many HR departments will not lift a finger to shift the status quo. After all, they are a part of it.
But there are times when some executives, some groups of senior managers, or even some groups of investors or clients will be on a crusade.
Worst case scenario, you could send such a file anonymously to bring down your boss.
In the best case scenario, you could use it to fuel your arguments when you are talking with someone who is there to determine the future of your boss.
And the more organized you are, and the more specific you are in your file, the more powerful you will be.
This is very important!
If I were to come and tell you that you’re not coming to work on time, you could give a wide range of excuses.
But if I called you out on your schedule the last fifteen days, with up to the minute accurate records of your late arrival, you’d be left defenseless.
You don’t have to point the finger at your bad boss.
Let the data do it!
Why You Must Take This Seriously
Remember: your boss has the power to fire you.
They have the power to promote you and help unlock your career.
But they also have the power to make your life miserable.
They may be incompetent, they may be malicious, or they may even act like a schizophrenic.
At the end of the day, none of these matter…
You report to them, that’s what matters!
And if you had a better alternative, you’d be doing it.
Which brings me to my final point:
You must always be generating new options, new alternatives.
The only way you can have power over the relationship with your boss is when you can say no.
And that means, when you can walk away from the job.
Learn to generate more options. Discover how you can network and uncover new opportunities.
And whatever you do, always be on the market.
This way, even if you get into a situation where your boss is hopeless and upward movement in the company is impossible…
At least your career will not be stuck!
Finally – if you want to supercharge your career development and get a job that even your friends think is “too good” for you: check this out.