Let’s get one thing straight… It IS all about you!

When you are looking for a job, or networking, or simply “mingling” with your co-workers (or business friends as I like to call them), the outcomes you achieve are really all about you.

It is all about you, in the sense that it is all about what you do, as well as what you don’t do – interpreted in the worst possible context!

Mark my words: In the zero sum game of career development, everything you do, everything you say – or don’t say – can and will be used against you.

And if you want to be one of the winners who gets to retire early after a couple of years of meaningful work at your corner office, you need to remember this fact. 

In fact, at Career Insiders one of our key axioms is that: to master communication, you need to be always mindful of the worst possible interpretation of everything you say and do.

Think of yourself as a politician running for office, or a witness sitting in front of the entire nation during a senate hearing. And pick your words carefully.

Every word you use displays your personal brand. It projects, or fails to project: authority, expertise and confidence. It may embody executive presence. Or it may demonstrate lifetime of rank and file DNA. 

To win, you must chose your words carefully.

Let me explain…

When it comes to words, the most important ones to consider are verbs – that’s because verbs indicate you taking action. They also imply your level of involvement, your authority, as well as your inherent sense of entitlement. (Remember: entitlement is everything when it comes to projecting executive presence)

In this context, here are the verbs you need to avoid like the plague in your professional communications:

1) Believe: This is a weak word. It’s the kind of word people cower behind as a shield when they are not certain of their convictions. It is a word for the subservient, who need to explain themselves. It is also for impotent people, who need to give themselves a way out when they are wrong.

Most importantly, belief is a useless word because belief is implied – everything you say is technically and philosophically tangled up with your belief systems. No need to bring it to the forefront and dilute your message.

For instance, think of the following two lines:

Line 1: I believe we will make windfall profits next quarter following my idea.

Line 2: We will make windfall profits next quarter following my idea.

Or think of this in an interview context:

Line 1: I believe my contributions were key to our team winning the team of the year award.

Line 2: My contributions were key to our team winning the team of the year award.

Remember this. Whenever you get the urge to say believe, scrap it. Instead follow your sentence with a “because” statement. 

For instance:

Line 2: My contributions were key to our team winning the team of the year award, because it was my project that single handedly tripled our profits.

Yes, critics (and weak, subservient people), will mention that this is narcissistic. That’s just them coping…

2) Guess: This is just like belief but worse. With beliefs, or at least with most beliefs, there is some rational reason that can be used to justify your belief. But the word guess implies a lack of rational reason. After all, if you had a rational reason, you would not guess, you would speculate (which is a better word to use).

You know who “guess”? Gamblers. Especially those that lose. Even gamblers who win don’t guess, they speculate. They play out a strategy. They experiment.

Don’t say guess.

3) Need: Need is the most needy word in the English language – by definition. When you say need, it implies a position of weakness and dependence. It makes people imagine desperation, lack, weakness, clinginess. It is a word of loss rather than gain.

Remember: in business, and in your career, you are always, either growing or dying. Need is a desperate word and a dying gasp in professional communication. 

What’s worse is that the word “need” reeks of cowardly management that makes people respect you less. Think of this: the job of a manager is, at some level or another, instructing people and telling them to do things. You can either wear that mantle, or you can’t. Those that can’t, hide behind “justifications” when they make asks or give instructions. The word “need” is the most lazy justification.

Don’t say “I need you to complete this report by tomorrow.”

Instead say “Complete your report by tomorrow”

Don’t say “I need at least a $30k increase in my salary”

Say “A $30k increase to my salary is a good point to start our discussion”

Need is for the needy. Ditch that verb.

4) Hope: Hope equals superstition, and superstition has no place in business. People who say hope are basically flat out displaying their incompetence, as well as their inability to control the outcomes they desire. Why would anybody pay for that?

Hoping and winning are incompatible. And people in the professional world want to be associated with those who they think are winning. Don’t be a “hoper”. Be a doer. Be a leader. Be a winner. 

It is much better to say “We will win this battle” and lose, than to say “I hope we will win this battle” and win.

5) Try: Like Yoda says: “Do or don’t. There is no try.”

This one doesn’t need an explanation. You should get it by now…

More importantly… Can you see the trend?

Do you see the invisible thread or the theme that runs through all these verbs?

Do you get the gist of it?

If not, let me clarify:

The Key Theme Here is “Certainty“

Yes, of course, you don’t want to be “stupid certain” (see Dunning Kruger Effect). You don’t want to display the confidence of the incompetent who are so clueless that they see their failures as successes, and have no backup plans or contingencies.

That’s not certainty. That’s stupidity.

Certainty is something else. It stems from covering all your bases. It comes from having a plan, executing it well, and having your contingencies in place. 

Certainty comes from the fact that you’ve done the necessary work ahead of time. That work EARNS you your certainty. 

It’s that earned certainty that leaders and investors look for in high-value professionals. And you don’t have to go overboard with this. If you simply avoid uncertain, weak language, you’ll be halfway there. You don’t need to be the best, you just need to be better than your competition.

Remember: Most people don’t ruin their futures with what they fail to say, but what they happen to say. And people get stuck in dead-end, lifelong, rank-and-file jobs for the wrong things they say, which includes a hefty dose of uncertain language.

Uncertain language betrays someone who has failed to do their homework, and is trying to take the shortcut – the shortcut of the weak – by hiding behind words.

For instance – examine the following:

“I guess we were profitable last quarter. And I believe our sales will increase by 20% next quarter, and I’m actually trying to increase it to 50%. I hope it works”

Is that someone who is in control? Someone who is professional? Someone who has direction or initiative? Would you trust this person?

If you said those three sentences to anyone worth their salt, you would instantly be blacklisted for life – there is no recovery for someone who speaks like that!

But consider instead the following phrase:

“We increased our profits by 7% last quarter. I am targeting a 50% increase in sales for next quarter, with a contingency for 20% increase if we hit a bad market. These projections are based on data from the last seven years. I am confident in our plan and our team, we will win.”

Is this someone who is in control? Is it professional? Does it show direction or initiative? Would you trust this person?

Remember this lesson when you are talking to your colleagues, your clients, your bosses and anyone else you work with. 

And most importantly, remember this when you are alone, when you speak to yourself in your mind – where your personality gets shaped.

What you say in your professional life isn’t just words. It is literally an investment in your future, in more ways than you can imagine.

Think and say the wrong words, and you’ll be stuck in a dead end job, whittling your future away, doing meaningless tasks for people who don’t even know you exist.

Think and say the right words, and you’ll grow your career with every word you utter, building a future with meaningful, lucrative work, done not “for” but “with” people, who happen to care not only about your capabilities, but also about you as a person. (Hint: that’s why I call them business friends)

And yes, I’ve seen that promised land! I dwell in this promised land. And I have brought other professionals into this land.

If you only knew how good it could be… You wouldn’t waste a single second away!

There is a science to it. Learn it. Control your career, and control your future; it is yours for the taking!