When you apply for a job or are called in for an interview, there is usually a resume or a job description in someone’s hand, which frames and guides your interaction.
When you have conversations with people in a networking context, however, there is no such thing. It usually feels like a natural conversation. But this is misleading.
Make no mistake: Networking is not a natural conversation! And while it can feel “casual”, it’s not. It’s very easy to forget that every conversation in a professional context is either a job application or a sales pitch.
Of course, most novice networkers take this to the other extreme and memorise elevator pitches to cajole strangers into giving them job interviews. (By the way, that never works, and you really should learn about career narratives if you want to turn conversations into job leads)
But… Instead of talking about what doesn’t work. Let’s talk about what does…
Find The Sweet Spot
Like most things in your career, there is a sweet spot in networking conversations. It is somewhere between babbling on about TV shows and begging for an interview, and when done right, it gets your foot in the door, regardless of who you are talking with or where you meet them.
I’ve personally used such conversations to connect with new professionals, both bosses and clients, in all sorts of places ranging from exclusive events to rural gas stations (road trip, long story). The location does not matter. Who you are talking with does.
In this article, you’ll discover the top three tips that has helped me as well as my student in finding this sweet spot. These are specifically selected for early career professionals. And they will work even if you don’t have a reputation or real world job experience.
Tip #1 – Be Personal, Keep it Personal
This is perhaps the biggest rookie mistake that early career professionals make, and it shoots their chances more than anything else they do.
Yes, ultimately your objective is to start a professional relationship with the person you’re networking with. That professional relationship can help you get a job, or connect to a real “job giver”, rather than having to deal with HR and jump through their meaningless, time consuming hoops.
But before you can do that, you need to build some “relationship capital”.
Think of it this way: any ask you make from anyone is like withdrawing funds from a bank. You either have it in your account, or you have to go into debt to get that cash. And since in most networking relationships you’re starting from scratch (i.e. no funds in the bank), you have to become credit worthy.
You have to make sure they see you as “good for it” either because you can afford it, or because you’re a good bet with a track record of paying your debts.
In the networking context, one way to be considered “good for it” is through doing favors for your “business friends”. You can also facilitate connections between them – make introductions between people who can help each other around.
But… Then again, most early career professionals lack the capacity for either of these techniques. Therefore, you have to rely on the old – tried and true – method of becoming likeable and personable to build that relationship capital.
Talk to them as a person. Realise that everyone you interact with is an individual human, with individual needs, wants and personality quirks. Simply put: be genuinely friendly.
Don’t memorise scripts, and make the whole interaction about waiting for them to shut up just to get your “soundbites” in. First listen. Then, talk in a casual, friendly, and upbeat way. That both generates trust, and helps you build relationship capital.
Tip #2 – Figure Out What Drives Them
Every individual has a professional agenda, especially hiring managers and executives.
It could be adding another zero to the end of their next bonus check. It could be winning a particular award. It could be hitting a business objective. Or it could be making their life easier at work. It could be anything…
Whatever it is, even if it’s not top of mind, it will be in the back of their mind, clawing at them, influencing their mood, and dictating what they pay attention to. Try walking through the food court at a mall when you’re really hungry, and see if you can pay attention to anything else but food.
Remember this: People’s chief desire possesses them and drives them. And in the light of this knowledge, you must discover what causes the people you network with to take action.
The bad news is: Unless you spend a lot of time with someone, it’s not easy to learn what truly drives them. Extracting or deducing it from casual interactions takes wisdom – something early career professionals lack.
The good news is: If you keep your eyes and ears open, you will, on occasion, hit the jackpot. Sometimes, people will volunteer this information!
You must learn to look for it…
Try to find their chief motivation. Have a curious attitude. And of course, learn to listen…
Listen and watch. First and foremost, when you’re networking with someone, you are trying to gather intelligence and understand what drives them. Forget any other agenda you have (or you were instructed by halfwit career players to have).
Focus on learning about the people you talk to FIRST.
Tip #3 – Make Them Come To You
This is a fundamental principle that we teach.
We don’t want you to hunt for jobs or jockey for promotions. We want you to attract jobs, and be naturally offered more money, more opportunities, and more authority; without having to twist arms or demean yourself by playing the “boot licking game”.
Becoming successful in your career isn’t about writing a resume, or filling up your LinkedIn profile and then pushing yourself and your name on people.
It’s about uncovering more and better paid opportunities, especially those that are not advertised. It’s about establishing professional relationships. It’s about becoming more and more valuable with each passing day – while you are at work and getting paid.
This becomes possible ONLY when you “turn the tables” and transition from being the pursuer to the one being pursued.
And doing that requires two fundamental ingredients:
- An attractive “Career Narrative”
- An ability to speak “The Language of Value”
(Sidenote – These are not platitudes or simple concepts like buzzwords or personal branding. They are technical terms with specific meanings which you need to learn if you haven’t so far.)
Without these two ingredients in place, it doesn’t matter how many “coffee meetings” you have. At a psychological level, you will instantly be categorised as a value leech, and trigger in people the “human resources” response.
This means, even if you are networking with a hiring manager who desperately needs someone with your exact skills, without these two ingredients in place, if you go into job seeking mode and start fishing for a job, they will will ask you to “send in a resume and talk to HR”.
It’s not their fault. It’s not something they think about. It’s just a knee jerk reaction: They see you as everyone else, instead of seeing you as an “insider”. And they treat you the same way they treat everyone else, as they should. It’s only fair.
But it doesn’t have to be that way!
If you do understand and deploy the two ingredients of “Career Narrative” and “Language of Value” in your professional communications, you can bypass the HR process. A resume becomes a last minute formality. Talking to human resources becomes an annoying afterthought.
The goal is to ignore the entire “hustle” part of the job search, and instead, leverage the technique of job attraction. Get them to come to you. That’s the game…
Your Networking Future
Keep these three tips in mind when you’re networking.
And more than the tips, please keep the attitude I’m trying to instil in you top of mind…
The man-made rules of the career game are designed to keep you in your place. The rules are not crafted for your benefit! Remember:
Networking is trivially easy for someone with a good reputation and a track record of success. But what use is networking to such a person? They already have a great career.
Networking, on the other hand, is outrageously difficult for someone who is just starting out, or someone who has had an average career.
If the latter, plays with the rules and methods of the former, they will fail.
When you are the former (i.e. someone with a few C-suite jobs under your belt), you can “learn” how to “network” from every other career site on the planet, and you’ll do fine… THAT kind of networking is not rocket science: At the end of the day – if you simply make eye contact and speak in a semi-legible way – as an experienced, highly valued professional, you’ll get good results.
But when you are the latter (someone just starting out, or someone outside of executive circle)… You really need to learn what actually works. What works for the guy who is already “made”, will not work for you.
You must learn what will work for you, in order to turn the tables with the corporate world and get your way. You MUST learn to get their brain on your side, so that even with your lack of experience and your invisible track record, they are willing to take a chance with you.
You’re on the right website to learn how to do that.
Keep on digging. Some treasures await…